Why do I still feel anxious about trivial things?

Auto mechanic is one of my least favorite subjects.

So it l look no I’m

has been a struggle to manage my anxiety. Sometimes I feel like I have been successful by practicing mindfulness. But other times I feel like I’ve been losing a battle. I understand that this is not really a battle, it’s a matter of accepting the anxiety and by doing so, I can start to manage it better. I understand all of that, however, it is super challenging when it comes to real life situations.

For instance, I have planned for many days to call the mechanic again to look at my car regarding a tire. I’ve been dreading picking up the phone and calling them. I’ve always felt more anxious when it comes to car issues. There have been short moments in my daily life when I question my negative thoughts and I’m able to rationalize and therefore feel better about the situation. But most of the times I feel paralyzed and hesitant about making a step to make the phone call.

I feel embarrassed, admitting that I still struggle with anxiety because I’m a counselor myself and I teach others to do the same. I need to also practice what I teach, which includes accepting my anxiety. I’ll try to be compassionate with myself as well.

So today I finally made the phone call and thankfully the person on the other line was friendly. I wasn’t fearing that the person would not be friendly, but just talking about car issues increases my anxiety. I think it is mainly because I know so little about cars and my fear is that people will take advantage of me. But that’s the only reason that I can think of explains my level of anxiety.

I think it has to do also with the issue that I have with “imposter syndrome.” I have thought many times that my success in life has been primarily because of “good luck.” Either because people were desperate to hire me in my previous jobs , and that I have been able to manage to live a successful personal life because I depended on my wife. So I asked myself sometimes, am I where I am now in life because of people’s sympathy and assistance, or have I been successful mostly because of my own efforts ?

I tried to not practice the imposter syndrome by listing in my mind the positive qualities and strengths that I have which helps me to become the person I am today. Such as , the fact that I have a lot of love and care for my family, which makes me a good husband and father. I also have some people skills and knowledge about communication and mental illness, which helps me to be a good counselor. Also I have some artistic talents that help me to create my artwork. I am also a big fan of philosophy, psychology , and I like to read books about self-help and watch science fiction movies .So, even though I tend to forget some things, and I’m not knowledgeable about mechanics, engineering, business, and other mathematical subjects, I do have knowledge about other subjects (humanities , art, and social studies) that help me to be the person I am.

This is all about self-confidence, which is basically about my belief on my abilities to do things, and to have things. But going deeper would be my self- esteem and self love, which is to accept who I am as a person, no matter what I am able to do.

Surrender, Simplify, and Serve: principles I (try to) live by.

What principles define how you live?

I wrote a post a few years ago with the similar title. I have tried to live my life surrendering to what I cannot change. I have also tried to simplify my life by being meek and practicing minimalism. And I also believe that we are here to help others in need.

To surrender is to simply let go of things that I cannot change. It is to accept and be thankful for what I have. Surrendering can be scary sometimes, but it definitely brings up a new beginning, and a fresh look at life.

Simplifying is basically getting rid of unnecessary clutter in life. Not just the material, but also mentally. I always associate it with being “poor in spirit.” when we are poor in spirit, that implies that we empty ourselves so that we can be more mindful

And to serve is to help others in need. It could be through charity, volunteering, or simply helping your fellow neighbor. It is a matter of sometimes practicing self denial, and helping others. In other words, following the “Golden Rule.”

These are the main principles I have tried to live on a daily basis. Sometimes it is a struggle, but not impossible. Meditation and grounding techniques help me to be more present and still.

Spending quality time with my family.. and being still.

What details of your life could you pay more attention to?

Spending more time with my family is what I would like to be doing with more attention. I would prefer to continue to share ideas with them instead of staring at our devices. My children are growing much older, and soon they will be moving out. My wife and I are also growing older. We will soon not be able to do the things that we can do and take for granted. So spending mindful time with them is priceless. I don’t want to feign that we are a happy family if we don’t actually spend meaningful time talking with each other.

Going to the beach with the family is priceless.

We used to have an entrenched tradition of having dinner together at the table. We also used to go to church together as well. But now all those traditions are obsolete at this moment. I understand that life goes on and that people change. But spending quality time together and taking with each other on a regular basis is what I would like to do more.

I also want to continue to live an austere lifestyle without complications or preoccupation about the material things. So living peacefully and with gratitude would be another area where I would like to spend more attention to.

Thank you for reading.

Thriller, by Michael Jackson: my all time favorite album.

What’s your all-time favorite album?

Since I was first introduced to this album in 1983 (came out in November of 1982) I became intrigued by these songs. Michael Jackson has been a legend and a pop star icon . In my opinion, nobody has been able to surpass him.

The best album ever.

I remember as an 8 year old kid holding the record album in my hands and reading the song lyrics that were printed on the record cover inside. I totally enjoyed his music and continue to enjoy it to this day.

My favorite song from this album is “Beat it.” The second one on the list is “Billie Jean”, and the third one is “Triller.”

When his next album, “Bad”, came out, it was not as exciting as “Thriller.” But still enjoyed most of his songs. I also learned to do the “moon walk dance” as a preteen. I remember listening and watching the video where Michael Jackson and other popular singers joined together in an ensemble to participate in the charity song “We are the World” to fight hunger in Africa. I was in fourth grade when this other album came out.

I think that Michael revolutionized pop music, like Elvis revolutionized Rock and Roll. His scintillating dance moves and singing voice have been an unforgettable performance in modern history. When he passed away in 2009, the whole world mourned his departure. But his album, “Thriller,” will always be his number one master piece.

Relaxing by living Mindfully

How do you relax?

Sunsets help me to relax.

This is an interesting question to ask, because it has been the most important topic in my blog. I have not written in this blog for many months because of a busy life and being distracted by social media. But this question caught my attention and decided to answer it today.

I have several hobbies that I enjoy which brings me joy and tranquility. My favorite one is drawing and coloring. I have done art all of my life, since I was a little kid. What do I like to draw? Pretty much anything, especially cartoons and human portraits. I also like to paint with water color and acrylic paint. I have done charcoal, oil painting , and ink. I use a variety of mediums and styles as well.

This is one of my recent drawings.

It brings me back to the present moment through mindfulness . What is Mindfulness? It is simply being purposefully aware of the “here and the now.” It is being “grounded” to what is happening around me. It also involves being aware of the thoughts that I have at the moment.

One of the best lessons I have learned in life is that I am not my thoughts. The same way that I am not my feelings. So what am I? I am awareness. Being mindfully aware of my surroundings and my thoughts helps be to relax.

So another way to relax for me is to do meditation and taking deep breaths. I always have my breath with me (unless I am under water) , so I can always count on my breath to relax. I also enjoy taking walks and reading books. I like to read about psychology, philosophy , and also science fiction.

I enjoy being in nature and watching sunrises and sunsets. The mixture of different colors and clouds on the horizon brings me peace. It reminds me of the beauty of this universe.

Relaxing is very important to me because I have a long history of anxiety. But thankfully I have managed to practice these relaxations techniques and be able to be more in the present moment. I also started posting videos that describe my experience with mindfulness.

Thank you for reading and I would also like to hear from you about your experiences with relaxation techniques. Keep relaxing!

Introduction video: Mindfulness, Mental Health , and more.

Introduction video: Mindfulness, Mental Health , and more.

“Come …!”

The disciples were on a boat in the middle of the sea of Galilee. It was a stormy night and the waves were crashing violently against their boat. They were scared and petrified , worrying about their safety. They sure thought they were going to die. Then one of the disciples spotted a human figure in the distance. They were even more petrified because they thought they were seeing a ghost. They began to scream in horror. What they did not realize was that the human figure was Jesus walking towards them on the turbulent waters. But then Jesus yelled at them, “Do not fear.. it is me!” Then Peter spoke up and yelled back: “Rabbi, if it is really you , allow me to come to you!”

How did Jesus respond back to Peter? Jesus said :

a. “Don’t come! It’s too dangerous! Let me go to you!”

b. “Are you sure? Look around you! Are you certain you will not sink and drown?”

c. “Wait! Let me come to you first and then we can walk together back to the boat!.”

d . None of the above.

The correct answer is d. None of the above.

Jesus responded with one simple word: “Come!”

(Matthew 14:22-33)

What does that mean? It simply means that Jesus was actually encouraging Peter to take a leap of faith , step out of the boat, stand on the violent water , and walk towards Jesus. No “ifs or buts”. Just “Come!” Quite a bold thing to say to a limited, sinful, human being. Why would Jesus tell a simple man to walk on water? Only a divine being could possible do that. But Jesus told Peter to take that dangerous step for one reason. Because it was possible. But it was possible only if Peter would have kept his focus on Jesus.

But as soon as Peter took his eyes away from Jesus and focused more on his surroundings, he began to sink. The rest is history .

Jesus gave simple commands. Love one another. Turn the other cheek. Walk the extra mile. Make peace. Forgive.

And on the passage above, he gave another simple command. “Come!” Are we to make excuses for not following Jesus ‘s simple commands? If we don’t keep our focus on Him, we begin to sink.

If you have read this far, I thank you for your time. This post was not meant to be another religious preaching message. It is simply a reminder that we need to focus on our life goals, instead on the negative circumstances that limit us . Jesus was and is a prime example of how we can do “the impossible.” He believed that Peter could have walked on the water towards him. He also believes we can love our neighbors, turn the other cheek, walk the extra mile, make peace, and forgive. If not, he would not have commanded us to do these things, and more.

So if you feel the urge or the calling to do good , simply take the step. Jesus believes in you.

This is only a Test …

I have been intrigued by the idea of death and the afterlife for a long time. But recently I am more interested in this subject since I read the book “After,” by Dr. Bruce Grayson. I also read the book “Life After Life” by Raymond Moody, about the same subject. Both books are written by psychiatrists who have done scientific research for decades on this subject. They describe numerous real life stories of people experiencing near death experiences, or NDEs. They all conclude that NDEs are independent from any brain activity. Almost all the experiences include an overwhelming sense of love and peace. I am also reading stories from the International Association for Near Death Studies (IANDS) , and even following a Facebook group page about NDEs . Most of these stories include one or more of the following:

a. thinking more clearly and more rapidly than usual

b. a sense of overwhelming peace, well-being, and absolute, unconditional love

c. feeling comfortable and free of pain

d. a sensation of leaving the body, sometimes being able to see the body while floating above it

e. a sensation of being drawn into a tunnel or darkness

f. a brilliant light, often perceived as a being of light

g. a life review, or return of memories from the past

h. a sense of having access to knowledge not available by normal means

i. encounters with deceased loved ones, or with other beings who may be identified as religious figures

j. a reluctance to return to the earthplane, but invariably realizing either their job on earth is not finished or a mission must yet be accomplished before they can return to stay.

It seems that, according to many of these stories , we are part of a bigger source. There is also the common feeling that “everything makes sense.” There’s a lot of reminders that, when the person returns to their bodies, they do not understand or remember anymore. Almost as if the physical body , our brains, limit them from having a more understanding of their existence. The brain may serve as a filter that limits our understanding of life.

All these descriptions make me wonder what this existence we call “life” is really about. We rely on our five senses to understand our surroundings, but how much can we rely on them? We have learned so far that there are other wavelengths outside of the visible spectrum that we cannot perceive with our eyes. There are millions and billions of galaxies out there that we are just beginning to notice. How can we then conclude that this existence is all there is?

Are we a reflection of what is real? We are like the moon that reflects sunlight. Ripples on the surface of the ocean. We could be living a story written by a much bigger (and more real) author. What we experience right now, while our hearts are pumping blood and our brains are “fully functioning ,” may not be the “real thing.”

While reading these stories from these books and websites about near death experiences, I noticed some resemblance between them and what Jesus taught in the Bible. I don’t mean to be religious in this post but I think it is important to point out the similarities between what some people experience close to their deaths, and what Jesus teaches us.

There’s often a theme during NDEs about “returning to the Source” and “going back home.” Jesus also taught about him returning to the Father and him preparing a place for his followers. Jesus also told his disciples, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). This implies that we would need to recognize our “oneness” with the universe , or God, to fully experience our true nature. If we remain separated from God and each other, we will fail. But if we are all spiritually connected, we will fulfill our purpose.

The immense love and peace that many of these experiencers feel during their NDEs can be the same love and peace that Jesus taught to his followers. Jesus said that the peace that he leaves us is not like the peace “of this world.” (John 14:27). He also told Pontius Pilate that “his kingdom is not from this world.” (John 18:36). All of these descriptions can be compared to what experiencers of NDEs try to describe themselves.

Similar to this is the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11) who decides to take his inheritance and overspends it in worldly pleasures, against his fathers wishes. Each part of the story can be compared to our lives on earth. The son decides to leave his father’s house (when we are born), goes to the city (we start living in our physical bodies) ,spends all of his money in pleasures and food (our worldly successes and accomplishments), finds out that he has lost everything (life crisis and facing death ) and decides to return to his fathers house (when we die).

Jesus also teaches about being born again (John 3:3-21), which is usually interpreted as a spiritual reborn. This “spiritual awakening” may be one if not the only true lesson that we are invited to learn while we are living in our physical bodies. So, in other words, our purpose in this physical life would not be to be successful with material goods and pleasures, but to have a spiritual reconnection (Salvation) with God or Source.

Whatever we think that this life is about, there is ample evidence from these stories that tells us there is much more. Whatever we imagine the ultimate Being or God to be, it is apparently more than that. Our brains do not give us a full picture. What we experience in this state of existence, in this realm, is basically only a test.

Has any of my readers experienced an NDE in their lives? I’m curious to hear from you on what you felt and heard. Thanks.

Is God dead?

Is God dead?

If God is dead , then that means He was once alive. Alive in what sense? Alive like we humans are alive? Alive only in our minds ? If He was alive like we define life on earth, then He is not God, because by definition, God is an all powerful being that exists outside of time and space. And since life, as we understand it, falls within time and space, then God is not alive as we are alive on earth. It must be another kind of “being alive” or existing. The best way I can describe it is by comparing it to an author of a book. The story in the book comes alive as we read it and imagine it, but not as alive as the author of the book itself. The author does not live inside the book but creates it and understands it fully , better than any character in the story of the book.

But given that God is an all powerful being, outside of time and space, then is it even possible for him to be dead or cease to exist?

An imaginary line that we can picture in our minds can go on either way infinitely, but can we fully comprehend how this is even possible? Not fully but we can have some understanding of it.

And if God only lives inside our minds, then how can we possibly come up with such an idea of an all powerful being in the first place? The same way that we can picture an infinite line. Are the unicorns and the dragons that we create in our minds possibly alive outside of our minds? Yes, but not in this world, based on the lack of evidence. But then do we have evidence of the existence of an all powerful Being that created this world? The DNA that makes up our living cells is just one example of the complexity and wonder of our designed existence, which could serve as evidence for the existence of God. But then again, we are talking about a being that, by definition, created the human mind which is now trying to understand the mind of God, its creator. The same way that the character in the story of the book is trying to understand the author of the book.

So, is God dead ? Only if he was once alive and existed within time and space. But since God cannot be alive within time and space, then he exists only outside of our lives and therefore cannot be dead.

What is this …?

What is all of this that I am sensing ? Nothing seems to make sense at all. At the same time it does.

What is all this beauty I see around me? So many colors and shapes. I feel joy and awe in the landscape that surrounds me. I experience love and joy with amicable entities. But what is it?

What is all this horror I see everyday? We act like a disease that contaminates our surrounding. We hate, envy, and hurt our neighbors. As if we were threatened by an invisible force. Isn’t it all in our minds?

We are born, then we grow, we work, we build families, communities, and then we fall. We have goals, ambitions, and dreams. The limited period called “life.” But it continues with our children and their children. I only witness a minute portion of the whole human experience. Or do I?

All for what? Who is the author of this confusing story? What is the purpose of this journey? And where are we heading? Was I alive before this existence and I do not remember? Will I live after this?

There is no clear answer. It seems to be all a cycle. Almost like a test. There’s a beginning and an end. Or should I call it a transition? We are all in this together. All we have is hope. But the questions remain.